some guy just called my number thinking i was a male prostitute, and he started talking to me about how much he could pay me so i pulled up gunshot noises on my computer and started screaming and he panicked and hung up
911 jUST FFUCKING CALLLLED ME IA AMC LAUGHHING SO HARD I TOLD THEM THE SITUEATION AND I’M STULL FUCMKING LAUGHING BECUASE NO W HTE’YRE TRACING THE GUY TO ARREST HIM FOR TRYING TO SOLICITEA ND PAY FOR SEX
I’VE DONE A GOOD
“I’m keeping her.”
(Source: teaat2am, via tcryla)
“during battle, she may also give herself some health tips.”
My dog turns three in one hour.
The joke is that I put a beer in his bowl because he’ll be turning 3 which is 21 in dog years. I have been planning this joke for a week.
OMG!!!!!!! I NEED A PAIR OF THESE!!!
The undies and the guy right?